Who are the happily isolated and the miserably connected? — One of the biggest misconceptions about loneliness is that people who are “isolated” according to some objective measure (for example, they live alone) must also be lonely. The converse produces its own common misunderstanding — that if you are connected to others in some objective way (for example, you are…

Is your partner your everything? Is that romantic? Maybe it’s risky — Who are the people who are important to you now? That was the key question that motivated a study of the personal communities of people in contemporary Britain. Think about the question as it applies to your life. The people can be from any categories — family, friends, spouse/partner, coworkers…

A ban on co-living in Kansas sparked outrage; it is not just happening there. — When I was researching my book How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century, I asked many people how they would like to live if they could choose any way at all. One popular fantasy was the Golden Girls model — a group of people would…

Introversion is not just the opposite of extroversion; there are 5 varieties — There is so much more to introversion than I ever imagined — and I even published research on introversion many years ago. The experiences that define a person as an introvert, according to the thinkers who have continued to deepen our understanding, go far beyond attitudes and preferences about socializing…

Romantic success at 20 was not linked to any kind of success at 30, not even romantic success — People who seem to be skilled at romance are admired and celebrated. When they are young, their prom pictures attract lots of likes. If they marry, they are showered with engagement gifts and wedding gifts, plus tons and tons of attention. People with friendship skills, though, are rarely acknowledged in…

Age, gender, and living arrangements are all relevant to the amount of time people get to themselves — Thanks to the annual American Time Use Survey (ATUS), we know quite a lot about how adults in the U.S. spend their time. It is an excellent survey, based on a nationally representative sample. Participants are asked, in great detail, how they spent a 24-hour period of their life, starting…

The new psychology of rest tells us how important our alone time can be — “I need some rest.” How often have you heard that? Rest, whether it seems too scarce, or even at times too plentiful (for some during the pandemic), is a matter of great interest. And yet, until a few years ago, we’ve known little about it. We never knew the answers…

The attachment that is too often overlooked, especially in the lives of single people — Of the many possible sources of meaning and value in our lives, one of the most underappreciated may well be the power of place. Many different senses of place are important to me. One is a very specific setting — for example, the room where I sit typing this post…

Personal growth, self-acceptance, and other benefits of being alone for positive reasons — Are you one of those people who likes spending time alone? If so, you probably already know that there are some people who will stigmatize you for it. They think you are alone because you are anxious around other people and just don’t have very positive relationships with humans. …